Now I'm Done

Apathy and I Watch the Browns Together

2008-12-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

Apathy. Apathetic. Two words a person would never really want to be associated with. To be lazy, to not care, to not give much effort, to be referred to as apathetic is a slap in the face. One group of people that have never, ever been referred to as apathetic are Cleveland Browns fans, myself included. For nine years now we have filled Cleveland Browns Stadium each and every Sunday the Browns had a home game. Even though the Browns have had only two winning seasons since their much anticipated return in 1999, you could never say we didn't care about our team. I have watched Ford Field be half full for most home games for years now. Hell the Rams won a Super Bowl in 1999 and went back to one in 2003 and now after two bad years their fans are non-existent. Not in Cleveland. It was a sense of pride, a sense that Cleveland truly does have some of the best sports fans in the nation, and I don't mean that in the sense that a GM went down on the field, took a microphone, and thanked his half empty stadium for their support and for being the best fans in the land while three people applauded. But I can feel the apathy creeping up on me every week this year. I felt it sitting next to me at the bar last year as I watched the Browns get crushed in their home opener by the Pittsburgh Steelers, who do not even count as a valid rival anymore. Only after Derek Anderson launched his aerial assault against the Bengals in week two did Apathy get up and walk over to the bar across the street. He has returned in full force this year, ordering a burger and a pitcher of Bud Light during each Browns game he watches with me. Each week he offers me a drink, and I am getting closer and closer to taking one. Why? Well besides the fact that I enjoy beer, let me tell you.
I am tired of watching expectations stomp all over a Cleveland team's confidence. It took out the Indians this year and it is wreaking that same havoc on the Browns. After a 10-6 year in which the Browns showed great improvement in all areas of the game, they stand at 4-8 with a third string quarterback who we all remember getting tossed to the ground by Will Smith on fourth down as Ohio State went on to win the National Championship in 2003. How far the Browns have fallen since Derek Anderson opened training camp as the star quarterback and Braylon Edwards was seen catching balls in training camp. The signings of Shaun Rogers (who has truly been a beast) and Corey Williams hid the fact that the Browns have no linebackers who can rush the passer. Kamerion Wimbley has turned into a ghost on the field, and Eric Wright, who once did his own Deion Sanders impression after an interception return for a TD against the Giants, has looked more like DeAngelo Hall since then. Derek Anderson proved that he truly is just a backup, and Brady Quinn decided to throw with a broken finger and ended up ruining the rest of his season. Kellen Winslow thinks everyone has staph and Braylon Edwards took to many 5 Hour Energy pills and is so wired during games he cannot catch anymore. All of this after a 10-6 season and a thrashing of the defending Super Bowl champs? Really?

I tire of comments from players telling us how much they love Romeo Crennel. No one cares how much you love your coach and how hard you want to win for him. We have been watching this team flop year after year, and your love for your superiors really has no business with winning football games. If you loved Crennel so much you would be undefeated this year. Derek Anderson seems to be a broken spirit after being benched and booed by the fans. If pulling a Vince Young is how DA is going to handle being demoted, then he should not be a starting QB in the first place. Before bashing us Browns fans for being such jerks for booing, why don't you step into our shoes for a second. Here is what we see. A tight end and a wide receiver who both made the Pro Bowl last year. A starting quarterback who also made the Pro Bowl last year. A Pro Bowl return man. An improving defense. A coach who won three Super Bowl rings and who headed one of the best defenses we have seen in the past ten years. A general manager committed to solidifying the offensive line and bringing talent to this team. Yet, here we are again, watching another Cleveland team fail to meet expectations. Crennel's poor time management, inability to control his players and get them to play hard, and his weird obsession with not playing Jerome Harrison more than 3 times in a game has deservedly brought calls for Cowher. I could go on and on but I won't. Because next week I will be at the bar with my friend Apathy, laughing and sipping a Bud Light while the Browns game plays dully on the TV in front of us. My Braylon jersey will lay on my floor at home, waiting for the day when I put him back on. But until that time comes, Apathy and I will have the best time we can. Go Cavs.

I Think I'll Go To Boston....

2008-05-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

The Cavaliers have tied up their series with the mighty Boston Celtics 2-2 and are heading into a crucial Game 5 at the Garden. If they want to win this series they have got to go in there and stun Boston Wednesday night. As these playoffs have moved along, we have seen the Cavs finally start to come together as a team. Here is what I have been noticing. I am also in a great mood after Game 4, so this is a very positive column. Also, Bill Simmon’s column this morning about how Doc Rivers has no idea how to coach makes me laugh. It is awesome to see frustrated Celtics fans vent. So much for the best team in the NBA huh?

-The defense is back to where it was a year ago. No one seems to want to talk about this, but the Cavaliers have held their opponents under 90 points in 8 of their 9 playoff games. They played this same kind of shut down defense a year ago that propelled them to the finals. Anderson Varejao did an amazing job on Kevin Garnett in the fourth quarter, not allowing him to score a point. He also hit a few open jumpers, something he has not been doing the entire playoffs. He finally stopped trying to drive when he receives the ball and trying to make some crazy shot. Andy is at his best when he is rolling to the hoop for a lay-up, or hitting open 10 or 15 footers, not when he is trying to create on offense. Monday night Andy got back to playing defense and rebounding, the things he does best. He had not helped this team until Monday night, and the Cavs need to see more of it.

-Players are finally starting to find their roles. I must admit I was not a huge fan of Wally Szczerbiak when he arrived in Cleveland. He was hyped as a great shooter, yet struggled with his shot and often tried to force things when he received that ball. He would back a defender down and shoot a fadeaway jumper or force up a bad three. He seemed to be trying so hard to score and impress his teammates that he forgot what kind of player he was, and was also a step slow on defense. But in this Celtics series, Wally is one of the few players who is knocking down shots consistently, and that is because he has learned his role. Wally needs to be a Peja Stojakavich type of player for the Cavs. Getting open for threes and then being able to go off the dribble to the hoop when his 3’s are falling. He has been huge in this Boston series.

-What can you say bout Boobie Gibson? The kid looks like he is 12 but has ice for veins. Hitting backbreaking 3’s is what Gibson does, and has a beautiful shot to go with it. If the kid could drive a little bit more he would make the defense respect him ten times as much. He has got to start hitting those big three’s on the road. LeBron will always find you Boobie, keep shooting.

-Delonte West has really impressed me. He has been extremely aggressive in this series, especially at times when LeBron has seemed a little passive. He is fearless going to hole, as was evident in game 3 when he hit a floater over KG in the paint. He pushes the ball, and although careless at times, he has really been the X-factor for the Cavs in this series. He has played great defense too, he was the one that got back on defense when Paul Pierce had a breakaway lay-up, and he made him miss it. Boobie then hit a 3 on the other end, and that pretty much sealed it.
-A big shoutout to Ben Wallace and Z. Ben is in Detroit form with his rebounding and defense, and Z is everything you could want him to be, tapping in offensive rebounds and putting up his smooth J.

-The offense still gets stagnant, to many times is the shot clock down to 5 before the Cavs even get a shot off. This team could be amazing if they ran a better halfcourt set. I noticed, especially when leBron went out in Game 4, that the offense really stood around while Wally of all people dribbled the ball for much too long. LeBron even yelled at them from the bench “MOVE THE BALL!” It seems so simple yet the Cavs cannot figure how to be consistent on offense.

-I can remember so many moments when LeBron has thrown down an absolutely devastating dunk that has shot energy through my body. His dunk over Delonte West when he was with Boston, his dunk over Damon Jones in Miami, and his dunk over Rasheed Wallace in last years playoffs. But the ferociousness with which he dunked over KG Monday night was unbelievable. It changed the game and could ultimately change the series like his dunk over ‘Sheed last year did. Both dunks sent me running out of the room, yelling like a maniac. The man is special and I am thankful I am alive to be watching him. When LeBron retires (hopefully as a Cav) I will look back and remember each time I was sitting watching a Cavs game and he got me out of my seat because of a ridiculous dunk he had. Let’s get it done in Boston on Wednesday!

Pardon my recent apathetic blogitude...

2008-05-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know, the Stanley Cup Playoffs have already reached semi-final play, where as the NBA Playoffs won't reach that point until late October. Here are some highlights:

Boston vs. Montreal: The Canadiens lived up to their number 1 seed, until they squandered a 3-1 series lead. Carey Price faltered like a normal 20 year old rookie, and the Bruins forced a game 7 back at the forum, in which they were promptly shut out by a 20 year old rookie. But credit the play of the Bruins, along with the Original Six match up, for sparking interest in a very troubled franchise. Something is A-Bruin in Boston, that's for sure.

Washington vs. Philly: Another exhilarating 7 game series that showcased two of the NHL's most improved teams. Of course, only the Capitals have Alexander Ovechkin, who played a huge part in the series; most notably leaving Joffry Lupul open in front of the net, allowing Lupul to tap in a rebound for the series clinching goal in overtime.

Im pretty sure some stuff happened out west too....but trust me, aside from the Sharks/Flames series, in which the Sharks played like shit and almost choked, nothing interesting happened.

Second round? Penguins won the series in overtime, which was the series' only good game. Gary Bettman must have been happy to see Sidney Crosby playing on the nations biggest stage on national TV (Yes, NBC televises games on the weekend.)

Karma came around and lacerated Sean Avery's spleen. Awesome.

In a battle between two hockey rich markets, San Jose and Dallas played an incredible series the consisted of four overtime games. The last being an actual four-overtime game which the Sharks dominated, but were out-dominated (?) by Marty Turco, who turned away 473 shots.

The Sharks, unfortunately, were my pick to win the cup. They have the size (only four guys under 200 pounds, one being a goalie, and one being Brian Campell who hits like a truck), talent (Thornton, Campbell), youth (Pavelski, Michalek), leadership (Marleau, Roenick), and most importantly, goaltending (Nabokov won 46 games with a 2.14 GAA). Unfortunately, Marleau and Nabokov were the only ones to make any sort of impact on the series, which allowed an old ass Dallas team to skate with them for two full games before winning the series on the power play (with Campbell in the box, no less)

Even worse, the Sharks were the only team that could beat the Red Wings. The Wings have choked in the last several years, but I think they are finally experienced enough not to. IThis message was made clear in an 8-2 dismantling of the Avalanche at the Pepsi Center in the deciding game. Zetterberg and Datsyuk are mature enough to step up, which will take some of the load off the youngsters like Filppula and Lilja. They also have this guy named Nick Lindstrom, who is about to win his 69th Norris Trophy.

So we're left with the interstate rivalry of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia in the East, and Dallas and Detroit in the West. And even though Dallas and Philadelphia have played extremely well this postseason, neither stand a chance. The Penguins have Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, and hired gun Marian Hossa, all of whom can score at will. With Sergei Gonchar running the point, the Penguins are one scary offensive team. That being said, Marty Biron has played like a man possessed for the Flyers and will be responsible for at least one win, but the Pens' onslaught will be too much.

As for the Stars, I guess its not so much that they've played that well, as it is their opponents playing poorly. With the best players on that team all hovering around their 30's, there is no logical explanation for the victories over the Ducks and Sharks (Arguably the two best teams in the West), other than lack of effort from the opposing bench. They'll pick up a win or two, just so long as their best players keep playing well (Modano, Morrow, Turco), but in a 7 game series, Detroit has few predators.

New cup prediction? Wings over Penguins in 4...maybe 5. Maybe Osgood or Hasek will have an off game, but at the end of it all, the Wings are too damn good, too damn experienced, and too damn overdue.

Bring On The Celtics

2008-05-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

-The Boston Celtics were dragged along to the finish line, which came in a blowout win over the Atlanta Hawks in Game 7. A very strange series between those two teams. The Hawks had no idea how to play on the road but played like a team possessed at home. We talk about how Detroit could not get their energy up in their first round series, how about Boston thinking they could just go into Atlanta and win two. Instead they got a full dose of Joe Johnson, who emerged as one of the next superstars in a league full of them right now.
-The Celtics had not played a meaningful game in over a month, that is the so-called explanation for the struggles they had with the Hawks. But let us not forget that the Celtics “superstars” have not been experiencing the playoffs very much lately. Ray Allen made the first round with the Sonics three years ago, Paul Pierce has not been to the playoffs in a few years, and the same with KG. The fact is, none of the Big Three have much recent playoff experience. The intensity of the playoffs may have taken the Celtics by surprise, and the amount of fans in Atlanta’s seats may have also surprised them.
-Let us look ahead to my Cavaliers taking on the Boston Celtics. Joe Johnson went off at home against the Celtics. The Cavaliers have a player by the name of LeBron James who is maybe ten time better than Mr. Johnson. If the Celtics had trouble figuring out how to guard Joe, what is LeBron going to do to them? Do we remember last year when he went off for 48 against Detroit in game 5?
-If Boobie and Wally can continue to shoot the way they did in Game 6, it is going to space the floor. Game 6 vs. the Wizards was a perfect example of how the Cavs need to run their offense. No more of LeBron standing around at the top of key trying to go one on five. Moving the ball around, getting open shots or Boobie and Wally, that is the way the Cavaliers need to play. Also, Zydrunas must be more involved this series. He has had a quiet first round, and is crucial to get going early in this series.
-The Cavaliers are a mentally tougher team than the Celtics right now. The Celtics won zero games on the road, while the Cavs won two. Game 1 is a very winnable game for the Cavaliers.
-There is a lot of bad blood here between the Cavs are Paul Pierce. Expect another very physical series between these two. Keep roughing up Pierce as he goes to the basket, he definitely got rattled at times in Atlanta.
-This series could go seven games, and I am confident that the Cavaliers have a chance in this series. Game 6 was one of the best games they have played all year. Game 1 is huge for the Cavs to set the tone for the series. Cleveland is not the Hawks. Go Cavs.

April Showers Bring Joe Mauers(and the rest of baseball, too!)

2008-04-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

Alex Fiore joins us once again to discuss the early baseball season.

It’s hard to believe, but the 2008 baseball regular season is already 1/6 over. It’s been a wild April, and I’m just the man to fill you in just in case you missed something. Arizona is running on all cylinders, and I have no conceivable notion of how they would ever lose a seven-game series, throwing Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, and Micah Owings twice, with Randy Johnson picking up Game 4. The title of best team in the Majors is theirs to lose at this point, and in what appears to be a mediocre at best NL West, there’s no reason they can’t keep it that way.
The Florida Marlins are in first place in the NL East, but don’t get too excited. This team is still three years away from a World Series title (Think about it. Team formed in 1993, won in ’97 – four years. Won their next World Series in ’03 – six years later. Simple math tells me they will win their next title eight years after that – 2011, pending GM Michael Hill agrees to sell the entire roster minutes after the trophy is presented.
The Cubs lead in a much-improved NL Central, behind the hitting of Derrek Lee and Kosuke Fukudome. The club started slow, but has really picked it up these last few weeks and closer Kerry Wood looks –dare I say – adequate? With a semi-reliable bullpen, the classic downfall of the Cubs, this team can be very good. Nipping at their heels are the Cardinals and Brewers. The Brew Crew trots out the same good team as last year, but a little more experienced. They still trust Eric Gagne to close out games, so don’t take them too seriously. The Cards are going to be a team to watch as the year goes on. The first month, half their rotation belonged in AAA, but they were able to win games. With Mark Mulder and Chris Carpenter on the way back, this team could be very good.
Over in the American League, the Chicago White Sox hold first place in the Central. The team has been riding the pitching of youngsters Gavin Floyd and John Danks to the tune of 16 wins, but one injury to the pitching staff and this team will go down in flames like Roger Clemen’s life. The Indians and Tigers are starting to hit, which should put fear in the rest of the American League. Both of those teams finished below .500 on the month, but I wouldn’t bet on that happening again. The Royals had their first week success, giving false hope to people all over Kansas City, but have since started to slide back to their rightful place at the bottom of the division.
The two most winning teams in the AL reside in California, with Oakland and Los Angeles taking care of business. Oakland is a team that does not appear to be very good on paper, but the team is playing good baseball, and riding high on the pitching of Dana Eveland (who?) and Joe Blanton. Anaheim is as good as advertised, and new centerfielder Torii Hunter is fitting in just fine. With the return of Howie Kendrick and John Lackey in the next week or two, expect this team to be even better. Many people’s pick to win this division, Seattle, is floundering in third place. The team is hitting .253, 11th in the AL, and closer J.J. Putz just recently returned to the bullpen. This team still has the talent to compete, but they need to start swinging first.
The AL East is the closest division after a month, with all the teams flirting with .500. The Red Sox, Rays, and Orioles are all tied for first, with the Yankees just a game behind. This division is going to be a fun one to watch, although I don’t see the O’s sticking around too long. The Rays have the young talent to compete for the year, but they remind me too much of last year’s Brewers – a team with tons of young talent, but isn’t ready to handle the pressures of contending for the division, especially against the likes of Boston or New York. The Red Sox will start hitting, and the Yankees can’t be counted out, although the recent injury to catcher Jorge Posada is going to hurt. The Blue Jays have a nice-looking team, but they just don’t have the bats to keep up in this hitter-heavy division.
Let’s check out the stat leaders. Like any other April, the tops of the charts are filled with lightning-in-a bottle guys who might be benched by mid-June. The top five in RBI-leaders include thunderous bats of Josh Hamilton (27), Emil Brown (25), Mark Reynolds (24), and Xavier Nady (23). Chase Utley leads the MLB in homers with 10, followed by Lance Berkman and Pat Burrell (what is this, 1999?) with eight apiece. There are a slew of guys in the top ten that will be nowhere near the top in September, including power threats Mike Jacobs, Joe Crede, Edwin Encarnacion, Casey Kotchman, Nate McLouth, and Carlos Quentin.
Pitching has some more recognizable names atop its win leaders, including Brandon Webb (6-0), Chien Ming-Wang (5-1), Dan Haren (4-1), and Cliff Lee (4-0, and sporting a 0.28 ERA). Seattle ace Felix Hernandez is leading the MLB in strikeouts with 41, and Frankie Rodriguez has the most saves with 10. The biggest signing of the off-season, Johan Santana, is noticeably not atop any of these lists, working his way to 3-2 record and 3.12 ERA. I still have no doubt he’ll turn it around and we’ll see why he is worth $130 million (well, maybe not that much).
And last but not least, here are three predictions for the month of May.
Brandon Webb will continue his winning ways, having another undefeated month, going 4-0 and keeping Arizona in first place.
Chase Utley (my early MVP pick) will continue to pound the ball, and hit eight more homers by the end of may, bringing his 2-month total up to 18.
The Seattle Mariners will continue to struggle and still be in third place by June, only this time they’ll be much farther out.
So there you go, we are one month in and its been a great season so far. With close races and fun players performing, the next month should continue to be some exciting baseball.

Jay-z is rapping, Deshawn is throwin bows, and the Wizards are down 3-1

2008-04-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

-Do you think the Wizards are getting tired of losing on last second shots to the Cavs? Damon Jones, LeBron James, Delonte West. I’m surprised that the Verizon Center didn’t just empty as soon as Gilbert hit that shot to tie it up with about 28 seconds left. “Well honey start the car, LeBron has the ball with 28 seconds left! Who wants to go to Mickey-D’s?”
It’s like, back when the Patriots were winning Super Bowls. If Tom Brady had over a minute to drive his team down the field for the winning score, that game was over. This series is done and over with and I am damn glad it is. I hate Washington more and more every game.

-Sure, I am a Cavs fan, but the Washington Wizards make me sick, like when you Google search the word pooh bear and all of the sudden up comes a picture of a guy doing a bear. Yea, you know what I am talking about. Brendan Haywood dunks over Boobie Gibson then decides to put his nuts Gibson’s face. Boobie ends up with a technical because he retaliated. Give me a break. This whole Wizards team is going to remembered as a decent team with one guy who wrote a funny blog but could never get out of the first round of the playoffs.

-I think that DeShawn Stevenson is the Freddie Mitchell of the NBA. For some reason, this mediocre basketball player continues to feel that he has some sort of right to talk shit about LeBron James. Yesterday he said LeBron is not the type of player you lose sleep over, like Kobe is. Does DeShawn think he is now a supposed analyst on TNT? Congratulations on being able to sleep the night before you play LeBron James. I hope your dreams are excellent. You still are about to lose the series though, so does it really matter? DeShawn Stevenson will have just about as famous of a career as his boy Soulja Boi will.

-In case anyone was wondering if Hubie Brown listens to hip hop, he does not. He instead rocks out to smooth jazz and he has sex with his wife while Nancy Grace plays on the television.

-Mike Tirico really does not like Soulja Boi. At all. At least three or four times he referred to him as a one-hit wonder and said he has getting a lot of media time he doesn’t deserve. It is safe to say the Mike might be jamming to some smooth jazz on that ABC bus with Hubie.

-DeShawn partied with Soulja Boi after Game 3. Soulja Boi is underage. I am currently waiting for those drunken pictures to surface.

-This whole LeBron-DeShawn thing has gotten a little out of hand. Jay-Z has officially made a song dissing DeShawn. In the meantime, DeShawn is being supported by Soulja Boi and some rapper from D.C. who no one has ever heard of rapping over Hova's own "Public Service Announcement" beat. Kind of fitting for the series huh? DeShawn being backed by nobodies while LeBron has the kingpin of hip hop by his side. Note to Drew Gooden and DeShawn, please do not ever have a beard growing contest again. It looks awful for both of you, and I know your women per night average has steadily declined.

A Little Playoff Update

2008-04-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

The Cavaliers took games one and two from the Wizards. Game 3 was ugly. Here is my expert analysis.

What a difference homecourt makes in the playoffs. After blowing out the Wizards in Game 2 by thirty, the Cavs lost Game 3 by 36. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 36. After watching the Cavaliers play one of their best games of the season, they come out with this awful performance. DeShawn “I wave this hand in front of my face because when I retire no one will ever have heard of me so it’s like you can’t see me” Stevenson actually had a good game, while everything Jamison put up went in. The Cavs played absolutely horrid defense and reverted back to their old selves on offense. You know, the old, stand around while LeBron dribbles the ball for 15 seconds then lazily puts up a jumpshot. With Washington’s crowd chanting “overrated” you would have thought Bron Bron would have come stronger than that. Speaking of Washington’s crowd, let’s go through some of the big names that came out to see their team play. Colin Powell everyone! He was part of one of this worst presidential cabinets in history! Ladies and Gentleman, Soulja Boi! Single-handily ruining hip hop! I understand the rivalry here between these two teams, but really Washington fans? You guys are going to chant “Overrated” when LeBron is at the line? Didn’t he boot you guys out of the playoffs two years in a row? Didn’t he just drop 30 plus on your guys two games in a row? Didn’t he average 30 8 and 7 this year? That chant made all of us Clevelanders and everyone watching around the U.S. chuckle. Come up with a new cheer there Washington crowd. Glad you guys showed up for once.
The Cavs have got to win Game 4. I don’t want to see this thing go back to Cleveland all tied up at 2 a piece. The Cavs must move the ball around on offense like they did in Game 2, and Boobie has got to hit those threes on the road like he did at home. Z has to be more involved down low. Hopefully Coach Brown makes adjustments and the Cavs take Game 3, because tonight was an embarrassment.

Boy It Is Hot In Here

2008-04-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

Here it Ladies and Gentleman, my NBA Finals pick:

Boston vs.......Phoenix....with Phoenix in 7. Why? This is the last year Phoenix has to win a championship. Shaq is going to push himself to another level in this year's playoffs because he also knows that this is his last year for a chance at one more championship. Amare Stoudamire is playing out of his mind, and Steve Nash is Steve Nash. Once they get past San Antonio, that monkey is off their back and they match up well with LA. Raja Bell always guards Kobe well, Amare is too quick for a rusty Bynum or Gasol, and Shaq is too big for either one of them. GOOOOO SUNS!

Tell Him What He's Won Jerry! The Eight Seed In The Eastern Conference Playoffs!

2008-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, the Eastern Conference. Home of Jose Calderon, Samuel Dalembert, Jay-Z, Tyronne Lue, and many many more! And how can we forget the Iowa Energy, oh I'm sorry the Miami Heat? It was a year to remember folks. I remember at the beginning of this now mature NBA season. All the experts were talking about how the Eastern Conference had caught up with the West, with players like Rashard Lewis, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen all coming over to the East. Well sure enough the Celtics and the Magic improved immediately, but that was about it. Since everyone on the Bulls including former coach Scott Skiles thought they were being traded for Kobe Bryant, no one played well and the team that some crowned Eastern Conference Champs, or as Steven A. Smith said, "THEY GON' WIN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE!" fell towards the bottom of the standings. Or perhaps the team gave up after they drafted Joakim Noah. The young Raptors were ready to show their claws and jump into the category of Elite East teams, which is like 2, until they realized they play in Canada and decided it was not their year, ending up about .500 on the year. The Atlanta Hawks are going to make the playoffs though! Do you think Joe Johnson regrets his decision to leave Phoenix yet? 3 or 4 years since he has left and his Hawks are finally in the playoffs in the East and about to get swept, while the Suns have been in the playoffs every year since he left and have had a shot at the title every year. Good thinking Joe. Well the playoffs are here, and here I am to tell you who is gonna win. Think it's going to be Detroit or Boston? Well think again! Actually don't, cause it is.

I will start off with my ever-frustrating Cleveland Cavaliers. It appears as though their mid-season trade for Delonte West, Joe Smith, Ben Wallace, and Wally Sczjkhhf...I think that's how you spell his last name, has hurt more than it has helped this year. The Cavaliers are outscoring teams with LeBron on the bench, a sign that LeBron has been unable to get in a comfort zone with his new teammates or get used to playing with someone as pretty as Wally World. Anyway, the Cavs will take on the Washington Wizards for the third year in a row, and have to deal with their shitty fan base and shit talking players for the third year in a row. Don't get me wrong, I like Gilbert Arenas. But when someone named DeShawn Stevenson calls LeBron overrated shouldn't have Arenas interrupted that interview by yelling over from his locker, "Hey! DeShawn! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU SEE WHAT HE DID TO DETROIT LAST YEAR? SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Anyway, anything is possible with LeBron, and if Boobie and Wally start hitting shots it can really stretch the defense. But beating Boston in the second round is a bit of a stretch in itself.

Detroit is like the Spurs of the East. A really good team who appears to be falling off and are boring as hell to watch unless Rasheed goes off on one of his temper tantrums, which he has cut down on this year. This year they have a group of five backups called the Zoo Crew. When Chauncey and the gang gets tired, Flip Saunders inserts and elephant, a giraffe, a peacock, a monkey, and the rare toucan. Oh I am sorry, wrong Zoo Crew. Consisting of Jason Maxiel, Arron Afflalo, Rodney Stuckey, and two others who are probably good basketball players, this group of five have been blowing out teams in this last week of the season. Yes that means you Minnesota Timberwolves, you are now losing to zoo animals.

What more can we say about the Celtics? KG has been a man possessed all year (he really has, Keanu Reaves had to exorcise a demon out of him earlier in the year) turning Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo into offensive and defesinve stars. And why has no one mentioned how big Rondo's hands are? HIS PENIS HAS GOT TO BE FUCKIN HUGE! That right there is reason enough for teams to get out of the Celtics way, in fear of being cock-slaped by Rajon Rondo.

Congratualtions to the Hawks for making the playoffs. Enjoy your week of first round ass kickings by the Celtics and get ready for another mediocre year! Hurray!

Orlando relies way to much on their ability to hit the three point shot to beat either Detroit or Boston. But honestly who wants to bang down low with that man child in Dwight Howard. That man is the T-Rex of the NBA. He walks around the land looking for other dinosaurs(players for those of you who don't understand my complex metaphors) to eat, but no one wants to challenge him. Then when the stupid Stegosaurus decides to step up he just gets eaten. Dwight Howard and Greg Oden, ladies and gentlemen, big men are back.

Everyone thinks the 76ers could be the surprise of this years' playoffs. But against Detroit in the first round? No way. Toronto? Have fun with Howard, Chris Bosh.

Here is how I see it playing out.

#1 Boston deaf. #8 Hawks
#2 Detroit deaf. #7 Sixers
#3 Orlando deaf. #6 Toronto
#4 Cavaliers deaf. #5 Wizards

#1 Boston deaf. #4 Cavaliers
#2 Detroit deaf. # 3 Orlando

#1 Boston deaf. #2 Detroit...boring I know but I just don't see anyone taking out Detroit or Boston. On with the playoffs!

Blogging adds 7 years to your life....

2008-04-13T21:46:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman it has been a long time since Kimmy and I have blogged it up, and we know all 6 of of our readers have been worried about our whereabouts. But, have no fear, for have returned and are ready to blog once again. Kimmy has been drunk all weekend in Indiana so please forgive him if his next post is about the "fratmosphere" or how much he loves Mean Girls. Where have I been you ask? I have been mired in college work, college women, and college booze. We are back now though, so enjoy.

Next Saturday marks the beginning of the 2008 NBA playoffs, which for the Western Conference will be like World War II with each team fighting each other till the bitter end while suffering many casualties while Hitler poisons himself in the locker room. For the Eastern Conference it will be more like Vietnam. Boston and Detroit will play the Vietkong while teams like Atlanta, Philadelphia and Toronto will be playing America; getting their asses handed to them and after a while(maybe the third game of the series) they start to wonder why they are there in the first place. I look forward to this weekend, and I shall now tell you who I think will come out of all this mess and why my predictions are probably wrong.

First I want to talk about the Los Angeles Lakers. They beat the Flopping Bitch Huge Nose-less Spurs, oh I am sorry, the Manu Ginobli-less Spurs pretty handily this afternoon at the Staples Center. The one thing that sticks out on the Lakers besides Luke Walton is the size they have on that team. Paul Gasol, Ronnie Turiaf, Andrew Bynum when he comes back, Lamar Odom. It is going to be extremely hard to beat this team in rebounds and toughness under the rim. Gasol is money from 10 feet. Kobe Bryant and Gasol run one of the prettiest pick and roll plays aside from Chris Paul and David West. Ronnie Turiaf can step out and hit the long jumper, a huge asset for a man his size. Lamar Odom can apparently play any position as he brought the ball up the court multiple times. Derek Fisher has returned to his championship Lakers team form, hitting threesand contested jumpers all over the place. And then of course you have Kobe Bryant who could hit a shot sitting on top the jumbotron if he wanted to. The Lakers have a legit shot at the title this year.

So is it just me or do the Denver Nuggets not really deserve to be in the playoffs this year? It is ridiculous that with the amount of talent they have on that team they lost to the Sonics in double overtime when the season is on the line. The Denver Nuggets on offense are unstoppable. the Denver Nuggets on defense are a joke. I think everyone besides Marcus Camby wants to get back on offense so bad they could care less about defense. It is like that kid at your local gym. He challenges you to a pick up game, realizes you are playing defense on him when all he wants to do is dribble the ball between his legs for 20 seconds and then do some crazy reverse layup. He gets frustrated, then when its his turn to play defense he doesn't even bother, and the game is no longer fun for anyone. That is the Denver Nuggets in a nutshell. Same thing with Golden State. Sure they are a lot of fun to watch. But no team that gives up over 100 points a game is going past the second round in the Western Conference.

Houston will lose to Utah in the first round. For the third straight year, the Rockets will be going home early. No way playing with Skip To My Lou and Dikembe Mutumbo is going to continue to carry this team like it did during that 22 game winning streak.

So who do I see coming out of it? Let's do it like this:
#1 Lakers deaf. #8 Nuggets
#2 Hornets deaf. #7 Mavericks in a very close series
#6 Phoenix deaf. #3 Spurs-This is the year the Spurs go down
#4 Utah deaf. #5 Houston

Then out of the four teams left I see either the Lakers or Suns coming out of the West to face Boston in the finals. I will save that very anticipated pick for a later time. Scenarios to watch in the Western Playoffs:

-Does Luke Walton actually dunk in a pressure filled playoff game? And if he does is this hope for average white basketball players everywhere?
-How many people does Chris Paul end up crossing over? How many people will Tyson Chandler dunk on? And can the person that gets dunked on have to take off their jersey and leave the building like in Streetball? This could be an alternate solution to fouling out. you get posterized, you leave.
-Is Carlos Boozer still a bitch for leaving Cleveland? Yes folks, he is.
-How many fingers wags does Mutumbo have left before his finger just falls off because of how old it is?
-After getting swept in the first round, will Nuggets stars 'Melo and AI have a press conference like this?
"Look, we look amazing in these powder blue uniforms and we score a hundred points a fucking game! So am I disappointed? No, I am not. I got my ring at Syracuse, I don't need to win a finals to validate my career."
"Yea we talkin' bout the first round! I'm too damn small to play defense, talk to J.R. Smith or some shit."
-Shaq in that hideous Suns jersey vs. Kobe Bryant.
-How long until Dirk Nowitzki says, "Look, Chris Paul and David West are way to good, and I don't know how to beat them, so they did a good job of never letting us win. I got this tiny angry coach yelling at me and I'm like 5 feet taller than him, I can't handle this. Cuban, fuckin trade me."

Look out for that exciting Eastern Conference preview this week! WOOOOO!

Blog blog bloggity blog blog....

2008-03-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

The Vols are sure living up to their name right now; getting their show run by the Louisville Chuggers, who of course are led by the intangibles of Edgar "Sammy" Sosa. This is why I hate gambling. Much like fantasy sports, it forces you to root for teams and players and Bruce Pearl, whom you hate.

My Bracket is looking rather splendid at the moment, at least compared to everyone else's. I knew from the moment I wrote it in ink that Purdue would not make the Final Four. Whatever, one of my friends had Belmont winning the West Regional, and 90% of people are still wiping their mouths off after Georgetown and Duke's exits came a little early, if you know what I'm sayin.

It would do me wonders if UCLA choked tonight. Lube em up Western KY!

But I need to go; I suddenly have the urge to rush to Marshall Fields and buy 30 packs of Hanes underwear and oh my god, there that is one circus-ugly baby on my TV screen promoting laughter. It adds eight years to your life, they say. Pot heads everywhere are rushing to invest stock in laughter, dude.

Its March Madness!

2008-03-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

Sure it's already into week 2 of the tournament. But you know what? I had a huge bunny to deal with who kept passing out chocolate and so cut me a break. Here is my expert analysis:

-Stephen Curry, son of the well known Indian food, Curry, has been nothing but spicy in this tournamnet. 40 on Gonazaga and then 30 on Georgetown? And the kid looks like a darker skinned Mcully Culkin who goes to the gym once a month, sort of like me. How is the kid getting into the paint and hitting huge threes? Roy Hibbert where were you?

-Speaking of Roy Hibbert, coud this guy be any more overrated? When he goes to the foul line his face screams "I AM REALLY NOT THAT GOOD AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE PLAYING ANYMORE, LET ME FOUL OUT REAL QUICK." I think Roy would talk like that Giant from Big Fish. Anyway, the guy scores 6 points and fouls out against Davidson. Some showing for supposedly the best big man in college. Does a guy who scores less than 10 every game and cannot even average double digits in rebounding really have a future in the NBA?

-I would personally like to thank Clemson for ruining my bracket by making maybe 5 shots in the second half of their game against 'Nova. Up 18 in the first half, Clemson went into North Carolina-mode and decided to choke. Jacking up 3 after three that would not go down, Coach Purnell decided to change up the game plan and have them keep shooting threes, because that might work. Their suppossed sharp shooter Ogelvy couldn't even hit a shot. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you are 10 FEET BEHIND THE THREE POINT LINE! Are you winded from bringing the ball up from the baseline? My lord. It's those damn purple jerseys, everyone knows eggplants can't shoot.

-How about North Carolina dropping over 100 points in two straight games now? Not really even fair. I know Hansbrough averages over 20 a game, but does he ever put up an actual basketball shot. Everytime he scores its from him grabbing a rebound and throwing it at the hoop while three guys are punching him in the face. But they keep going in. I am waiting for Tyler to just stare in disbelief after he hits a halfcourt shot facing the other way. "I can't believe these keep going in! I am going to score a huge NBA contract all because I throw the ball at this hoop thing and it goes in!" I have a theory the Hansbrough is always intoxicated during an NBA game, Jackie Moon style. You know how after he hits a big shot, Tyler runs down the court doing some sort of motion only white people know how to do? One of those "this is how I dance in the club cause I'm tall and white" dances that makes us cringe because it just adds to the stereotype that we can't dance. Well, I reffered to Katt Williams for this theory. Katt believes that white people can't dance, but only becase they are too fucked up to dance. So
1. White people can't dance because they are extremely under the influence.
2. Tyler Hansborough cannot dance (see Clemson and Virginia Tech games)
3. Therefore, Tyler Hansbrough is extremely under the influence.
Here is the video to prove it

No wonder he puts up those ridiculous shots.

-So who is my favorite to win it all? Well, I guess it would ne North Carolina right now, but UCLA is not far behind. Kansas has to choke sometime soon right? I give them one more round. Wisconsin has a huge ugly white guy and a player who wears ski goggles when he plays so we can count them out for sheer ridiculousness. Tennessee scares me every time the play, letting American and Butler hang around for way to long. Louisville has been very dominating, while Memphis has also struggled. So in the end, a bad dancing white man will probably win it. But so could a girlfriend beater. Gotta love the tourney.

An ode to the West

2008-03-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

Pack up your bags, we’re going on a trip

To a mysterious land beyond the Mississipp

Not to a place where fans and players brawl

But to a place that knows how to play some good ball

First stop is New Orleans, home of Chris Paul

He and Stojakovic make that rain fall

David West showed he’s a great ball handler

I wish the Bulls had kept Tyson Chandler

Lets go to Houston, the number one seed

It took 22 straight wins, Yao they don’t need.

Francis and Jackson and Shaner and Tracy

Rafer Alston…8 for 11 from three?

Onto San Antonio, where the defending champs play

And you’ll see Tim Duncan, the best center Today

Bowen and Parker, their defense will clench

Their leading scorer Manu comes off the bench

Lets look at Dallas where Dirk likes to drive

They’re also the proud owners of one of the fab five

A championship ring, Mark Cuban is cravin’

So he brought in some Cali Kidd named Jason

Time to leave Texas and enter the Rockies

The Answer’s 26 a game, despite his size of most jockeys

You know the K-Marts and the boy from the Cuse

You should also know that Camby will pack the shit out of yous

Head over to Utah, where Williams gets crossed

If Kyle Korver punk’s you, try not to get tossed

Mehmet and Boozer and the Mighty AK

Make up the inside. No games, they play

Into the desert, where Steve Nash has wowed

Beware of giant black men jumping into the crowd

Grant Hill is old, but he keeps up with their pace

And that’s when Amare puts his nuts on your face

Take a look at the Lakers of LA

Where Kobe puts up about 30 a day

They traded for Gasol to get over the hump

Now they just need to get Luke Walton to dunk

We’ll end in Oakland, where they score the most points

And by the fans in dressed gold, Baron Davis anoints

Webber is useless but I digress

I’ll end on the play of Monte Ellis

Sorry to the Kings, the Grizz, and the Clips

Maybe its about time to hand out some pink slips

And to the Sonics in Seattle, I don't know what you can do

You scored 116, and still lost by 52

For all of us fans, the west is our heaven

50 win teams? Maybe five, six or seven

And maybe next year it will be Portland that becomes the 10^th peg.

Right now they have Roy, and then they’ll have Greg

What rhymes with Azubuike?

FIGHT! FIGHT!

2008-03-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

Deadspin found this great video of a hockey announcer of the St. Louis Blues' minor league affiliate urging two goalies to fight eachother. Can you imagine if Gus Johnson urged perhap Kevin Love and O.J. Myo to go toe to to like this?
"Kevin Love comes in with a right hook...and he is goING TO CONNECT WITH THE RIGHT!!! DOWN GOES MAYO! IT DOESN"T GET ANY BETTER T H A N T H A T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, I just don't care....

2008-03-10T23:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080310-chicago-bulls-chris-duhon,1,5205283.story

Tyrus Thomas is a straight up baller. When that kid wants to be, he's one shot blocking, alley-oppin' son of a bitch--just check out some of the highlights from the Bulls' series against the Heat. Unfortunately, he does that about every 5th game he enters, which puts his baller status in serious jeopardy of being revoked. He was suspended for one game for a premeditated missed practice, in which he told his teammates "See you Thursday", after a Tuesday night game. If it didn't work for Allen Iverson, I doubt it will work for a second string power forward. But don't worry Tyrus, I'm sure you can make up the money you lost by winning next years dunk contest.

And then there's Chris Duhon, who, after going to the Duke/UNC game without permission, overslept Sunday's shoot around. You have to wonder, did ESPN get him caught by showing his face on TV? Anyways, he was slapped with a fine and benched for the game against the Pistons, although that's not much of a punishment for a professional athlete who sees about four minutes of that sweet PT a night. Chris, I understand you are unhappy because your playing speaks volumes more than your minutes, but take your damn job seriously. I don't care if you play behind Larry Hughes or don't get checked in after watching Hinrich and Gordon toss up brick after brick. You make three million dollars a year to play basketball. Plus, it's a contract year, and you know you won't be in Chicago in five months. Man up. That being said, I'm gonna miss him. His numbers aren't the greatest, but he has no doubt shown flares of the player he was at Duke. He was a great leader for his alma mater, and was always a character player who played his heart out whenever he came in, something you can't say about many players from the Baby Bulls era. I hope his attitude changes quickly and he can leave on good terms, something I'm sure many fans agree with.

And then there's there whole apathy thing. Paxon was again irked, as the bench acted out in a fit of Bronx cheer in the waning moments of Sunday's loss to the Pistons. Now I know they've been busy with trade rumors and voicing displeasure and all, but the boys DO know they are in the Eastern Conference, right? They're one game out! Even Paxon is guilty, wanting the boys to "play hard over these next 19 [games]." Good pep-talk, very Lombardi/Churchill. Who knows, maybe Drew Gooden found some chickadees in Joakim's hair, but I'm not going ot give them the benefit of the doubt. I was pissed off watching them yuck it up.

What can management do? Well, the fines, suspensions, and public humiliation to Joakim and Tyrus didn't have much of an effect on Duhon, so I propose giving the team Monday's off. I bet they hate those.

My Basketball Blog

2008-03-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yes it has been a while since I have last posted, but thanks to Alex Kim and Tony for picking up the slack. There is nothing like a good Zack Randolph NBA video to start my day off! Anyway, since I have been gone I have watched a fair amount of basketball, drank a fair amount of alcohol, and have decided to share my revalations with you all.

-Once the excitement of the Cavaliers just making a move at the trade deadline wore off, I don't know how I feel about this trade. It almost feels like the exact same team, but with LeBron picking up more of the slack. Ben Wallace has been inconsistent and struggles guarding quicker power forwards. Wally Szeribak is shooting Larry Hughes type numbers right now and forcing shots. Hopefully we can contribute that to learning the offense and not feeling comfortable but I hope the Cavs did not swap one bad shooter for another. In the meantime, Larry Hughes is happily jacking up as many shots as he pleases in Chicago and not caring about whether they win or lose because apparently that's not at all important to him. Delonte West has impressed me. I think that if he can push the ball up the court like he has and hit his shots, then he will really help LeBron out. What more can you say about LeBron? He still falls in love with his jump shot when he is hitting it like he did in New York, which hurt him against Chicago the next night. But other than that the man is having one of the greatest seasons ever. If Wally starts shooting better and Gibson is still hitting shots when he comes back, watch out. Ric Bucher predicted Cavs-Lakers in the finals. I was a bit shocked but, man, how much fun would that be to watch. David Stern is praying for that match up.

-When you think of the most disappointing team in the NBA, you usually don't think of a team 10 or more games above .500. But the Denver Nuggets have got to be that team. This team on paper should be unbelievable. Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony. The 3rd and 4th leading scorers in the league! Marcus Camby, a great shotblocker and Defensive Player of the Year. A healthy Kenyon Martin. So what's wrong here? Why is this team getting blown out at time by the Knicks? Why could this team possibly not make the playoffs? The Nuggets don't play defense that's why. Why does Camby have so many blocks? Because opponents are blowing by their men so often Camby has to step in around the rim. The Nuggets could average 110 per game, but they re also giving up over 100 ppg. The Mavericks tried this style of play in the earlier 2000's and the Suns tried it the past few years. You will not get past the Spurs or the Lakers not playing any defense. Hell you won't get past the Warriors playing defense like that. Until the Nuggets stop caring so much about scoring and focus on the defensive end, this team will never make it out of the West. I would definitely call them the most disappointing team in the NBA.

-I miss the run and gun Suns. I still cannot tell if Shaq is making the Suns better, but besides their recent win over San Antonio, the have not looked very impressive. Shaq slows down their offense as expected and the Suns are scoring in the mid 90's every game now, something you used to never see. I understand that the Suns want a tested big man down the stretch in the playoffs, but was Shaq really that guy who was going to put you over the top? No longer are the Suns flying down the court before the other team can turn around after a basket. They have to set up their half-court offense which they are definitely not as good at. Amare Stoudamire has not been turned loose like he used to, he is a great player but I remember him being an absolute freak a few years ago. I just really do not see the Suns beating the Spurs in a seven game series with Shaq, he has lost most of his post game, still cannot shoot free throws, and almost killed himself jumping into the crowd the other night. Keeping Marion just made more sense than trading for Shaq.

-Dwight Howard is mad no one is talking about his Magic in the East. He's right, they aren't making much noise but, besides Hedo and Dwight, are they really getting great production from anywhere else? Rashard Lewis is inconsistent and what happened to to Jameer Nelson? He needs to play so much better for this team to be a serious contender.

-Watch out for the 76ers to give a high seed a run for their money in the playoffs. Andre Miller and the freakishly talented Andre Inguodala are slowly becoming a force to be reckoned with in the East. The bounce back from the Allen Iverson-Chris Webber debacle has gone pretty smoothly for the 76ers, and no one is talking about them.

-Are the Hawks ever going to learn how to play together. Al Horford, Joe Johnson, Mike Bibby, Josh Childress....this team has so many early first round draft picks that its inexcusable that they are still this bad.

-The Miami Heat could potentiall be the first team to be on National TV more times than they had wins now that Dwayne Wade is "out for the season." TAKE THEM OFF! Countdown to the day Pat Riley resigns and throws another frightened coach in to coach Beasley and Wade until they get good again is on.

-If I was to predict the NBA Finals right now, it would be extremelly hard to do. I think it is between the Spurs and Lakers in the West. I feel that the Spurs have gone away from how they win, and that is Tim Duncan. Manu has takes over that offense, and is playing fantastically, but the Spurs have always put Tim Duncan first. I think the combination of two great big men in Gasol and Bynum coupled with Kobe smelling that trophy is too much for the Spurs to handle. Out of the East it is a toss up. I think the Celtics would take out the Pistons in a 7 game series, but I cannot count out my Cavs either. If the Cavs gel, watch out because you know LeBron will step his game up in the playoffs. It will be a great playoffs. Look for the Warriors to take out another high seed in an early round again.

Aaron Rodgers, Get Ready To Be Held To Impossible Standards Sir

2008-03-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

As we wave goodbye to Brett Favre and his great career, we leave you with a tearjerker from a fan who has followed him since his tiny head popped out of the womb. Tony Markovich brings us what it was like to be a fan of the one we know as....Why is that guy's name spelled like that? Shouldn't the V and the R be switched? Man what the hell?

Since I can remember, I have been a fan of the Packers. This comes as a surprise considering that I grew up just thirty minutes outside of Chicago with a father who was a Bears fan. But looking back when I first started watching football, how could I not like Brett Favre and the Pack? As a child who didn’t have any allegiances yet, I was going to root for the team and players I liked to watch. It just so happened that I liked the team in the NFL that was most hated by Bears fans. After watching Brett Favre’s style of play (the hair-pin passes, the 70 yard bombs off his back foot, the falling underhand tosses through 3 linemen) I was hooked. I knew from then on I would be a wearing one of those goofy looking foam wedges of cheese on my head for the rest of my life. From a fan’s perspective this turned out to be a great decision, as I would be able to follow one of the greatest people to ever touch a football.

When Favre first came out Southern Mississippi to enter the draft, he was ironically not the first quarterback drafted in 1991; Dan McGwire was by the Miami Dolphins. The same Dan McGwire that threw 2 touchdowns, 6 interceptions and a total of 745 yards to end his 5 year career with a 52.3 passer rating. Think the Dolphins looked back on that decision? Brett Favre was actually drafted 33rd overall in the second round by the Atlanta Falcons, who also made a franchise changing decision when they traded Favre to the Packers, just 1 season and 5 passes later.

It was on a September day in 1992 that Favre finally got to play after Don Majkowski got injured against Cincinnati. Unfortunately for Don, Favre led the Packers to a comeback win and took over the starting job later that season. From there, he began an era and perhaps the greatest career ever played.

In Favre’s illustrious career, there are so many great games and stories it is hard to single out just a few, but I will pick out some that are vivid in my memory. Of course, the first that comes to mind is Favre leading the Packers to the Super Bowl in 1997. The Pack played the New England Patriots, led by Drew Bledsoe. This was definitely my favorite Packers team with players like Desmond Howard (who won Super Bowl MVP with a 99 yard kick return and 90 yard punt return), Reggie White (RIP), Antonio Freeman, Dorsey Levens, and Mark Chmura. After scoring 17 unanswered points the Packers went on to win 35-21. The next year the would make it back to the Super Bowl thanks to Favre’s 3rd straight league MVP, but sadly lost to a solid Denver Broncos team lead by some guy named John Elway.

Another great memory I have of Brett was on a very emotional Monday night. If you don’t already know what I’m talking about you should probably rethink your status as a true NFL fan. Just the day before this Monday night game, Brett’s father passed away from a heart attack. Instead of taking time off, Brett decided to dedicate the game to his dad. Brett literally played his heart out and had one of the most memorable games in NFL history, going for 399 yards and 4 touchdowns in a 41-7 route of the Raiders. As tears streamed from Brett’s eyes as he walked off the field at Network Associates Coliseum, I think everyone knew that his father had been watching his son play that game and appreciated Brett’s incredible dedication to him.

Now, this game played in 1995(his first MVP season) against the Chicago Bears may not be remembered as often as it should be, but it certainly epitomizes Brett Favre and his unmatched will to play the game. One week after severely spraining his ankle, Brett threw for 336 yards and a career-high five touchdown passes in a 35-28 victory against the Packers archrivals. This game was just one of countless times Brett played through pain and agony to reach his NFL record 275 consecutive starts, including the playoffs.

Speaking of records, I am pretty sure Favre has every record a quarterback can possibly own. He has most TD passes (442), most passing yards (61,665), attempts (8,758), completions (5,377) wins by a starting QB (160), consecutive starts by a QB (253, 275 including playoff games), and most MVP awards (3).

Now I know all you haters, whom I don’t really know any, are going to point out his final record of most interceptions with 288. You are also going to say that anybody who has a 17-year career is going to eventually break these records because he played so long. While he did play for a very long time, nobody could break these records in the style or manner that Brett did. The reasons he has so many interceptions is because he was willing to go for it all. He was willing to take a chance and do anything in order to win the game that he lived for. Even if somebody does ever exceed these numbers, there is nobody who can match the passion and competitiveness that Favre played with. This man still at the age of 38 and after 17 tiring seasons in which he put his heart, soul, and entire life into, still has the childlike personality to throw a snowball at Donald Driver during this year’s division round playoff game against the Seahawks (which they won in the midst of a classic blizzard at the legendary Lambeau Field). There is no player that has ever loved the game more or had more fun playing the game than Brett Lorenzo Favre (that’s right his middle name is Lorenzo).

Finally, just for fun, I will leave you by showing you what Favre actually did for the football program at Green Bay. In the 16 years before Favre arrived, the Packers had zero divisional titles, one 10-win season, one playoff win, and a .406 winning percentage. In the 16 seasons WITH Favre as the man behind center, the Packers had seven divisional titles, nine 10-win seasons, eleven playoff wins (including a Super Bowl), and a .629 winning percentage. Nobody has made a bigger impact on a team than Brett Favre and nobody has been the symbol for an entire franchise longer than Brett Favre. He is one of the greatest players ever to toss the pigskin and probably THE greatest person to step onto the gridiron. As a Packers fan, it was one of the saddest moments in my life when I heard his announcement that he was retiring. He will be greatly missed and forever loved.

Goodbye Brett Favre

Hello Aaron Rodgers???

Back From a Sabbatical

2008-03-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

My god, that week was one in 1,104. Four midterms kept my nose in the books Saturday through Wednesday, which was followed by a stomach virus that kept my nose in the toilet Wednesday through Saturday. But no worries, I am back from the dead, enjoying my slenderized body and heightened intellectual status after finally learning how to spell "diarrhea"
I'm writing from Stankowski Field, where the temperature is warm, the ladies are instinctively flocking to the track, Savage Garden is blaring out of AEPi, and Jorts jut took a base on a balk...in whiffleball. I figured I'd get out and enjoy the weather before March rears its Liony head. Seems like everyone else is too. Plenty of football and soccer balls flying around, but it seems that the start of spring training has given the kind folks of Columbia baseball fever (to which the only prescription is more cowbell)--as the first Spring games of catch have officially commenced. On that note, I'll tell you that an AL/NL preview is due, but for now Ima check out and just leave you with some basketball players acting stupid. Hooray.

Alex

Watch what happens when Zach Randolph tries to get crossed! Gut busting!

Oops! Lamar Odom forgets to pass the ball in bounds! What was he thinking?? Knee slapping!

I like all teams equally, I swear.

You must have the strength of a condor to watch this video in its entirety. Or you can just fast-forward to 4:55.

The Name's Black, The Style Is Unorthodox

2008-02-27T13:16:00.001-08:00

Not sports related, by my favorite hip hop group related. I have just realized that this performance by The Roots here at Mizzou included a song from their upcoming album called 75 Bars(Black's Reconstruction). Similar to Thought@Work and Web, Black Thought just rips it over a sick beat from ?uest and help from the souzaphone. Rising Down, their new album, drops in April. Needless to say, I cannot wait.

Maybe It's A Good Thing The Cavs Didn't Trade For Mike Bibby

2008-02-25T23:22:00.000-08:00

Happenings from around sports Monday night:
-The San Antonio Spurs scored 5 points in the first quarter agaisnt the Atlanta Hawks, which sadly is 5 more times than my friend Eric has scored with a girl here at Mizzou. You would think that if a team only scored 5 points in one quarter that they would lose the game. But, not all teams are the Atlanta Hawks. Atlanta ends up losing by 15....yes 15 points. Their new addition Mike Bibby shoots 1 for 11, while the old white men in cowboy hats taking in the game celebrate. Oh to be a fan of Atlants sports right now, must be fun.
-Michael Beasley scores 30 points and grabs 15 rebounds, and Kansas State still ends up losing to Texas. In two straight games now, Beasley has scored 74 points and his team is 0-2. Here is pretty much the next couple of years for Beasley. Losing in the second round or so of the NCAA tourney this year, getting drafted by the Miami Heat and immediately getting traded to the Knicks in some crazy ass deal. You think you are carrying your team now Beasley? Oh just wait.
-Larry Hughes shoots 4 for 11 in the Bulls loss to Dallas.....ahh that's the Larry I know and love.
-The Rays are "talking" to Barry Bonds. I guess a plus is that 2,000 fans booing isn't very audible. Although they could change their city's slogan...if cities had slogans....to "Tampa Bay: Barry Bonds and Old People!" I wait for the day that Barry hits a home run into the back wall of Tropicana Field and the entire stadium proceeds to crumble to the ground. Let's make this happen people.
-Kelvin Sampson decided it would be a good idea to text message his players after their "emotional" win over Northwestern. Whatever cell phone company provides Samspon with service needs to throw him into a commerical immediately. If it is Alltel, I can see it now. "Well hey Chad! Got any phones I can illegally text recruits with? You do? Awesome!"

Jay Crawford Really Hates Skip Bayless

2008-02-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

Over the years I have watched ESPN's Skip Bayless on 1st and Ten, and over those years I have come to believe that Skip Bayless is one of two things. Either he is being paid by ESPN to just disagree with anything anyone says so that their show can have some flare to it, or he is just really the dumbest sportscaster in American. I really hope it is the former. If it is not then I am ashamed that ESPN has kept this man on the air after all of these years.
Being a Cavaliers fan, I especially take offense when the man refuses to give LeBron James, pretty much the best player in the NBA right now, any credit for what he has done in this league. I want to give you an example of 1st and Ten episode from Thursday. Jay Crawford, also an Ohio native who can be seen squirming in his seat as Skip spews out idiotic sentence after idiotic sentence, asked Skip and his opponent to grade LeBron's two triple double's in a row. This was a dumb question to begin with, how can you grade a triple double? Isn't that always an A+? Anyway. Skip gives LeBron James a B for his performance and proceeds to lay down all the reasons why LeBron James pretty much had nothing to do with the win over the Pacers that night. This is where Jay Crawford becomes my hero. As Skip is making ridiculous comments such as "Larry Hughes was the one that hit the dagger 3 in the corner" and "Zydrunas Ilgauskas was the one making the big shots" pretty much discrediting the 31 points, 15 boards, and 11 assists LeBron had. Crawford begins to jump and and team up with his other co-host to make Bayless look like the idiot he is. Jay begins with a soft blow, such as "So you are telling me LeBron had no part in the outcome of this game?" and then starts going harder. He makes a great comment, as heis face gets redder, saying "Yes, because Zydrunas is the focus of the Cavaliers offense and really makes them go, really won the game for them." Then, as the topic ends, Jay looks at the camera and makes the best comment of the day. "Step it up LeBron, you are really slacking out there." Jay was about ready to fight Skip, great TV.
But honestly, can we just give LeBron the MVP trophy right now? He just led a team with two D-leaguers, Eric Snow, and Damon Jones (who actually played unbelievable with 27 points) to a win over the Wizards. Man, it must be rought to be a Wizards fan right now. We welcome Big Ben, Joe Smith, Wally World, and Delonte West on Sunday, I cannot wait.

Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Day to Follow the Trade Deadline

2008-02-22T00:16:00.000-08:00

I sat on my bed Thursday afternoon, television tuned to ESPN and computer open to ESPN.com, ohio.com, and hoopshype.com. My lap was slowly burning because these damn Macintosh computers get freaking hot. But I was not going to let that deter me. Because today was one of the most anxious days, besides the NBA lottery in 2003, I as a Cavs fan have experienced. It was the day of the trade deadline and the entire city of Cleveland, although they may not want to admit it, all knew deep inside that to have any shot at making the NBA Finals again Danny Ferry needed to make a move. But would he pull the trigger? Would the deal actually help this team? I could Tarentino this post and start at the end, but that would completely ruin everything, so I won’t, in fact I do not know why I even suggested it. So, I will start at the beginning.

It began Wednesday night. I was watching Shaq make his debut with the Suns on ESPN and following the Cavs on Gamecast as they took on the Indiana Pacers. One of my favorite sportswriters, who also happens to cover the Cavs and I have had the pleasure of shadowing last year, the Akron Beacon Journal’s own Brian Windhorst, blogs during every Cavs game. Since I am all the way out here in Missouri and cannot watch most Cavs games, I rely on Brian’s insight to get me through until I return home. Brian usually puts up a blog post at halftime, so when halftime hit I logged onto ohio.com and went straight to his blog to see how he thought the Cavs were playing. What I saw there would pretty much ruin any chance I had of studying or doing anything productive that night. Under the header of ‘Halftime”, his blog read something along the lines of this: I have not watched much of the first halftime because I am pursuing a potential blockbuster trade that the Cavaliers are involved in. More info to come.” The adrenaline started pumping right then and there. A blockbuster trade? With who? Brian also said the deal was not for Mike Miller, which was pretty much the only trade I had heard the Cavs were looking into. I spent the rest of the night browsing the Internet to find some information on what it could be until Brian updated his blog. I could find no information anywhere, which frustrated me because I knew that between choosing to study for Microecon and waiting to see what the Cavs were up to that Microecon was going down in a five second K.O. I began reading Cavalier’s forums online, which is an awful idea because you either end up getting extremely angry at the comments certain people post, such as, ‘Chris Bosh may be coming to the Cavs!’ which gets you really excited for a second before you realize that in no way would that trade ever go down. So you leave an angry post saying something along the lines of calling the guy a loser who is in his mom’s basement and has nothing better to do until you realize you are sitting in your dorm room at 1:30 in the morning and you have been refreshing hoopshype.com every 10 seconds, so are you really any better? No, you aren’t at all. But I digress.
Finally, Brian updates his blog a few hours later. His post not only made things even more stressful for me, it could possibly make me lose sleep. I was tempted to go on a search for some Nyquil for the rough night ahead. Brian told us a big trade was going down but that he could not tell us the team or players involved in order to protect his sources. Well thank you Brian. Really. I appreciate that excellent information you left us. Now I have thoughts of Michael Redd running through my head like sugar plums in that line in ‘T’Was A Night Before Christmas.” Who could the Cavs be after? I spoke to many a Cleveland friend, throwing around names like Sam Cassel, which would only be considered a blockbuster because the Cavs would be trading for a player who is not actually human, and anyone else we though warranted blockbuster status. But there was really no one out there who fit that profile. As I climbed into bed that night I knew I would be dreaming of Ric Bucher and Marc Stein, which isn’t weird at all ok so don’t judge me. The night would be a long one for us Cavs fans, but I was ready to wake up at the break of dawn…or 9 o clock because that is when my first class is, and go right back at it again.

Waking up Thursday morning, I could not wait to open up my computer and see the big headline…Cavs Trade Entire Team For Kobe Bryant….on the home page of ESPN.com. Alas, it was not the case as I surfed the net 5 minutes before my philosophy class was to start. No new information was up, Mr. Windhorst could still not update us and I was readying myself to listen to my philosophy teacher drone on about whether or not we actually know we have hands. I was dismayed with my findings on the Internet. Cleveland has always been the sports city that has never pulled the big deals or signed the big free agent when we need to. Last year, Danny Ferry had a trade lined up for Mike Bibby at the trade deadline that fell through. I got that familiar feeling in my stomach that this trade, whatever it may be, was going to fall through as well. So as I trudged back from class in the sleet/snow/hail, whatever the hell they call this shit that falls from the sky in Missouri, I was ready to accept defeat and watch the Cavs move on with the same guys they had when the day started.

Maybe I just wanted the Cavs to make a move for the sake of making a move. With all of this hype surrounding this mystery trade, not finishing the deal would be like a bad case of blue balls. The more I looked at the Cavaliers roster though, the more I knew something had to be done to have a legimate chance to raise another Eastern Conference Champiosnhip banner to the rafters of The Q. No way LeBron can carry this team by himself in a seven game series against the Celtics or Pistons this year, although never say never with this kid. We tire so much in Cleveland of hearing the Cavs being called a one man team. We know that with one good shooter, one decent point guard, the Cavs would be world above anyone in the East. So as I turn on ESPN at 1 o clock to tune into their deadline special, I pray that something happens. That is when I also entered Chad Ford’s chat on ESPN.com where he was reporting the Cavs were in talks with the Chicago Bulls for Ben Wallace. I started to freak. Ben Wallace? Why would the Cavs want the guy? I stared at Ric Bucher on the television wishing his shiny gold hair would tell me something, but nothing came. My heart rate was skyrocketing, I am sure of it. Damn this computer is hot, I thought to myself. More details came in. Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden to the Bulls for Chris Duhon, Wallace, and Joe Smith. Finally, at just past 3 o clock, ESPN News reported the final deal. The Cavaliers receive Joe Smith, Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, and Delonte West while giving up Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Donyell Marshall, Ira Newble, and Mark Price. Could it be? The Cavaliers pulled of a huge trade? Am I dreaming?
As my phone began to rang off the hook like a PBS telethon, I took in the trade. And this is what I think.

I really like the deal. Goodbye Larry “I complain about playing PG but wouldn’t really play well at any position you put me in” Hughes, and hello Wally Szczerbiak and your 42% shooting from point land. LeBron James driving and kicking it out to either Wally World or Boobie Gibson, both who shoot over 40% from three? It will be nice not hearing the rim clank as much. Is Larry Hughes going to replace our rims as part of this deal? Hope so. Goodbye Donyell “ I think after my first year in Cleveland I will stop working for rebounds and just stand outside the three point line” Marshall, hello Delonte West. West, a pg, will bring better shooting, better dribbling, and the ability to really let LeBron play off the ball. Goodbye Ira “Everyone calls me a great defensive player, for what reason I will never know, I usually defend the Gatorade cooler” Newble, hello Big Ben! Wallace will be able to just focus on defense in Cleveland, and add to something the Cavs do better than anyone, rebound. Goodbye Drew “I still don’t know how to play defense after four years in the same system” Gooden. Although I will miss his 13 ppg and his ridiculous facial/neck hair. Sometime I think Common just comes into the locker room at halftime and asks Drew if he can play the second half. Hello, Joe Smith. A great veteran who can shoot it and play much better defense. Yes we give up Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden, a core part of this team’s coming of age the past two years. But Larry was never the player we needed him to be, and we will no longer have to worry about replacing Drew on the court in the fourth quarter. How Ben Wallace performs is huge, but when you play with LeBron, it makes you want to work harder. It as a great day for Cavs fans today, and a great day for a college student to skip class to watch his team make a big move. GO CAVS!

The NBA-Where Amazing Truely Does Happen

2008-02-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

As I sit here on a Thursday afternoon waiting for the trade deadline, I am just consumed by basketball right now. Bill Simmons said it pretty well in his recent column from the All Star game, but I feel like it needs to be repeated. Could basketball be any better off right now? Let's just look at last night as a microcosm for what the season has been. Chris Paul taking on Jason Kidd in his debut with the Mavs. Paul drops 31 points, 11 assists, and 9 steals...yes Paul stole the ball 9 times and the Hornets beat the Mavs. Baron Davis hits a game winning jumper with .06 seconds left against the Celtics as the sold out crowd at Oracle Arena erupts like it was Game 7 of the NBA Finals. LeBron James with his second straight triple double as the Cavs defeat that Pacers. Shaq makes his debut with the Suns, only to be one upped by the Lakers who, when Andrew Bynum returns, might be unstoppable. Kobe still scoring 30 plus points with a dislocated pinky. The Knicks still losing games by more than 20 points.
Couple this with the trade deadline, which I have been following closely because the Cavs are apparently seriously involved in trade talks, and it leaves a college student getting absolutely no studying done. How can you not love basketball?

Shaq....To Run or Not to Run?

2008-02-20T15:30:00.001-08:00

So Shaquille O' Neal makes his long awaited debut tonight with the Phoenix Suns. Everyone wants to know how he will fit in with their system, but I have a much more important question. How long until Shaq gets winded and forces D'Antoni to take him out of the game, and how will it happen? Will Shaq go NHL style, where players slap their sticks on the ground to signify their lack of energy then hop over the bench? I can see Shaq slapping the ground with those huge hands as he barrles towards a extremely frightened Suns bench until he toppels over a sleeping Boris Diaw, injuring all fans in the front row in the process. Man, I just cannot wait! Oh, and Kobe will be there too. Bringing up another question...how long until Shaq goes for the dislocated pinkie?

To Indiana We Go!

2008-02-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

On the day after Indiana's big win over Purdue, we bring to you a story that warms the heart. Sure, Kelvin Sampson is a cheater and Eric Gordon looks like he may talk with a lisp, but Bloomington sure is a fun place to play. Our very own Alex Kim traveled from Mizzou to IU last weekend to take in their game against Michigan State, who Indiana blew out. Try to enjoy it.

A COLLEGE HOOPS EXPERIENCE
So I just flew in from Indiana. Boy, are my arms tired. Actually, we drove. Some quick highlights:
I-70—This stretch of mostly four-lane highway boasts the largest monument to things the Indians taught the English settlers.

Giant Cross in Effingham, IL—If there is any space on your memory card left after the first half of I-70, be sure not to miss (which you won’t) the 198’ cross, located in the one and only Effffffingham, Illinois. Apparently it was constructed to watch over the some 50,000 who travel through Effefffinngham each day, because you just never know where Tony La Russa is driving.

Snacks—Funyuns and Combos...fuck yeah

Home cooked meal—Eric’s mom asked if I wanted steak, and I said yes even though I was full of like 1,000 Funyuns. I do not regret it.

Tea Leaf Green Concert—Practically sat on the stage for this show. They cranked out some good jams, especially for being visibly under the influence of some metric weigh-ins. The only lame part was how they took about half an hour to come out for their encore. That pissed off enough people that about half the crowd had left.

Hinkle Fieldhouse—Place where Hoosiers was filmed. Didn’t go in, but I was mesmerized by all of its history, like the time 15,000 people watched volleyball in 1987. The rest of Butler’s campus looked like shit mixed with I-70.

Brawl—So where at this party right? And the kegs were gone, right? So we’re like, lets leave. We were headed to the stairs when, all of a sudden, there was a crash! Turns out these guys who were talking shit the whole night in the keg line tried to steal an empty keg. When questioned, he threw the fucking keg at a dude. Aforementioned “guy” was then tackled by aforementioned “dude”, and two of his cronies. Battle Royale! We bolted once random people started getting dragged into the fight. There was also a Jordan Crawford sighting.

But I didn’t drive 400 miles to have a run-of-the-mill weekend in the Nation’s Crossroads. I came because #12 IU was playing #9 Michigan State. Big Ten basketball! Indiana basketball! Eric Gordon and Drew Neitzel! Free tickets! Lets get drunk! Anyways, we left at like 7 for a 9 PM start because IU’s campus is huge as fuck. It took about 25 minutes to walk from the middle of campus to Assembly Hall.

We didn’t have student ID’s, so we were hoping they would just turn the other cheek for us. People filing in very fast…good sign. Some guy looks like he didn’t flash an ID…better sign. Almost at the turnstile aaand….shut down. We headed back outside while Eric conjured up some exchange that got us ID’s. While we were waiting, I spaciously peered towards Fee Street. Hundreds, thousands of red and white clad fans funneled into the opening gate. Fueled by pride and alcohol, “HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-SIERS!” was belted out by students and alumni alike. (Also of note: I saw my buddy Dan collecting money for his frat outside of the stadium. His collection jar was a Tupperware container with a hole, and some of the causes he shouted out were “Pro-life!", “Starving children!” and “Babies!”. Anyways, I got my ID, which I remember saying “Woody” and left my friend and the 25 cents he had collected.)

The place was electric. When the players came out for the shoot around the student section erupted. When IU won the opening tip, the place was louder than Mizzou Arena has been at any point this year.
Pride and tradition are the foundation of college sports, and the Bloomington faithful put on a textbook display. The defining moment for me, especially as a neutral fan, was the response after Neitzel drained a 3 to put the Spartans up 15-4 early in the game. It got louder. The students roared and the alumni stood up. What did the Hoosiers do during this possession? Sent the crowd into delirium with an alley-oop. Pandemonium while down 15-6. Pride. When Gordon stuffed Neitzel’s 3 and ran down court for a tomahawk, the place went into a frenzy that would not end. The crowd never got tired—it was two straight hours of chants and a wall of noise. Even during the countless TV timeouts, they didn’t rest, singing right along with the band, punctuating the fight song with an emphatic “I-U!” and that thing they do with their arms. Tradition. When the game was no longer in doubt, the unbridled support from students and alumni made me wish I was a Hoosier fan.
At the end of it all, the fans new they finally had beaten a good team--their signature win thus far. Eric Gordon had one of his best games of the season. They showed they could play without the skills of D.J. White. More importantly, they were back in the Big Ten race, setting up an even bigger game against in-state rival and Big Ten leader Purdue.
Rising up from my seat, the Indiana fight song is barely audible, muffled by the deafening crowd. Filing out of the arena, a sudden burst of “I U!” resonates off the awkward walls. Assembly Hall in Bloomington, IN, home of the Hoosiers, is stacked 17,000 deep and absolutely rockin. Add that to my “I was there” resume.

Swinging From Gallo's Pole

2008-02-20T13:29:00.000-08:00

Things you misremember—a tribute to the AM Jump
By Alex Kim

AM JUMP
Back in the time of dinosaurs and Greg Oden’s preseason foul-outs, sports satirist DJ Gallo wrote the daily AM Jump for ESPN’s page two, providing full-time cubical dwellers with an alternative to solitaire procrastination. Then, Gallo put an abrupt end to the Jump, along with many sections of his website, The Sports Pickle to focus on the ultimate pickling: forcing Page 2 readers to Gene Wojcienchowski and LZ Granderson.

RICK REILLY
The veteran Sports Illustrated writer left after 23 years with the magazine. The back-page columnist stirred up some controversy after challenging Sammy Sosa to a drug test in 2002 and later urging Chad Johnson to show more than just his ear was pierced.

SITCOMS
The writers’ strike was a major blow to fans of prime-time television. While talk show hosts like Conan O’Brien and John Stewart attempted to move on without them, the future of the industry laid in doubt after 14 were injured in riots stemming from the halt of “Frank TV” after only four episodes. No worries though, the writers strike has ended and networks plan to vicariously rebuild their fan-base through an exciting home run race between Dwight Shrute and Tina Fey.

MIAMI HEAT
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports Miami GM Randy Pfund is working out a deal that will send the Heat to the D-League for a NBA affiliate to be named later.

What to watch for

Mens Basketball: Rutgers at West Virginia; Thursday 7 EST ESPN2
The Scarlet Knights take on the Mountaineers in mediocre Big East basketball. Watch for Don Imus in the student section in Morgantown.

~~Womens Basketball~~

NBA: Miami Heat at Chicago Bulls; Thursday 8 EST TNT
Watch the Suns cringe after Shawn Marion drops 65 because Joakim Noah will be guarding him.

Red Wings vs. Stars, Saturday 3:30 EST NBC
Because no one else will.

ODDS
Ryan Dempster is aware he plays for the Cubs: 100:1
Photos from Jose Canseco’s party surface on http://www.drunkathlete.com: 50:1
Diana Turasi used as a prop in the dunk contest: 25:1
JJ Reddick becomes next E.E. Cummings: 2:1

Chris Anderson is....Unstoppable....and so is his watch! Ok...maybe not, but, you should buy the watch!

2008-02-19T21:37:00.001-08:00

Remember those commercials for Citizen Watches? Started out saying..”Unstoppable...Eli Manning is. And so is his Citizen Eco Drive watch.” Citizen Watch ended up with a bunch of b-list celebrities to endorse their product, the biggest being Eli Manning until he won the damn Super Bowl. Remember seeing that commercial after Eli through 4 picks against the Vikings this year? Yea, you laughed. Emeka Okafor is also celeb that wears the watch. Anyway, it got me to thinking. What would be some of the worst athletes to be in that commercial? Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered.

“Unstoppable.....Gheorghe Muresan is.....because...well he once was in a movie with Billy Crystal. I mean, come on! Billy Crystal! When Harry Met Sally! Monster’s Inc.! He’s 7 foot 7! He averaged 9.8 points for his career! And he wears Citizen Eco Drive. You could be 7 foot 7 and ugly as hell if you wear our watch!

Unstoppable...Tonya Harding is....just like her Citizen Eco Drive watch....she knows self defense and is good with hiring hit men! She did a triple axel once! She enjoys crack and once fought Paula Jones! Tonya drinks a lot and fights her boyfriends! She also has asthma! So buy our watch!

Guest Columnist of the Week: Alex Fiore

2008-02-19T21:34:00.000-08:00

It is in Kimmy and I’s contract that we have to give a guest spot every week to someone who thinks they can write with the big boys. I mean how many kids can say they are almost into the J-school at Mizzou? A few thousand? Yea, we are in rare company. Fiore, apparently, is also almost into the J-school also. So, we showed him some pity and gave him a guest spot. His article is about these things called point guards out West. Are you sure you aren’t referring to cowboys? Whatever. Enjoy.

Dishing Out Dimes So Latrell Sprewell Can Feed His Kids
By Alex Fiore

As if I needed another reason to watch the NBA playoffs. If recent trade talks end up leading the Dallas Mavericks’ to acquire point guard Jason Kidd from the Nets, it will create a mess of elite point guards in the Western Conference. Assuming the teams stay where they are in the standings, (which they almost certainly won’t) the playoff point guard matchups would shape up like this: Chris Paul (NOH) vs. Allen Iverson (DEN), Steve Nash (PHO) vs. Baron Davis (GS), Jason Kidd (DAL) vs. Tony Parker (SA), and Deron Williams (UTH) vs. Derek Fisher (LAL). That’s quite a list. Growing up watching the likes of Mark Price, Gary Payton, Anfernee and Tim Hardaway, John Stockton, and Kevin Johnson, I’ve been drooling over point guard battles since I knew what NBA stood for (Mookie Blaylock for MVP!). Anyways, here’s a breakdown of these one-spot wonders.

(1) Chris Paul vs. (8) Allen Iverson
Possibly the two quickest point guards off the dribble, this backcourt battle will have more crosses than John Kitna’s living room. Paul is the poster child for young point guards, with quick hands and exceptional court vision. Iverson is aging, yet still possesses the speed that made him so deadly coming out of Georgetown what seems like forever ago (which it was). Iverson is the leading scorer for point guards in the Western Conference, but history shows that he cannot carry a team by himself (L 1-4 in his only Finals appearance in 2001).
Edge: Paul

(2) Steve Nash vs. (7) Baron Davis
Points anyone? These guards run two of the most explosive offenses in the league. Nash finally has his man in the middle after the Suns landed hip-hop megastar Shaquille O’Neal. Baron Davis is a dangerous scoring threat, and is no stranger to the upset, after taking down the top-seeded Dallas Mavericks as the eight seed last season. Nash is the clear choice here, with consecutive MVP awards and the best offense in the league. At least Baron von Davis still has the Duane Allman lookalike contest going for him.
Edge: Nash

(3) Jason Kidd vs. (6) Tony Parker
Welcome back to the ranch. Kidd’s return to the team that drafted him in 1994 signifies the last ditch efforts, both by Kidd and Dallas, to win a championship with a high-octane offense. Kidd’s age has slowed him down, but he still has some of the best court vision and awareness of anyone in the NBA. Tony Parker is a defending NBA champion, playing with the best forward/center of our generation in Tim Duncan, and has a better supporting cast (sorry, Juwan Howard). Kidd may be great, but you never pick against the defending champs.
Edge: Parker

(4) Deron Williams vs. (5) Derek Fisher
Chris Paul’s running mate for point guard of the future, Williams has been a star since he bolted from the Illini in 2006. He is an all-around point guard, and has a knack for playing well in big games (the best four minutes of basketball I’ve ever seen). Derek Fisher is a heartwarming story, but in the Lakers’ offense, Kobe hasn’t had this many touches this side of Eagle County. Williams has the speed and the stats (19 PPG, 10 APG), while Fisher has the honor of being drafted behind Stephon Marbury. I’d take the Lakers in the series, but not because of Fisher.
Edge: Williams

Ouch!....Stefhon Hannah

2008-02-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

University of Missouri’s starting point guard Stefhon Hannah was dismissed by the men’s basketball team. Hannah was involved in a club altercation in which he broke his jaw. He and four other players were suspended. Coach Mike Anderson said Hannah was dismissed due to “academic reasons” but I am pretty sure it is because this is what Hannah’s mouth looked like after he was released from the hospital. What gives Coach? He could have made players miss a ton of free throws with a smile like that!

Our Weekly Checkup On Our Man Brady Quinn

2008-02-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

When Brady Quinn isn’t busy making fun of gay people in Columbus (http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2008/02/brady_quinn_part_of_rowdy_grou.html)....he is busy with the all important football offseason. It has been an eventful one to say the least.

First, he was announced the winner of Rock of Love 3 with Brett Michaels. Here he is with his new found lover.

He wanted to let everyone know that he does not have a Myspace, but he does, however, have FaceBook, Livejournal, Friendster, and a membership to Bang Bros.

He then attended a party, sponsored by Bud Light, to show that he drinks beer to get that lean muscle he’s showing off in this shirt that he bought at age 5!

Finally, knowing he may not get much playing time this year in Cleveland as he watches Derek Anderson for another year, he decided to go help Charlie Weiss and his alma mater for the 2008 season. Sadly, Notre Dame lost a minor bowl game, which led Brady Quinn to say “That’s one more bowl game loss baby! God I missed college!”

More Brady Quinn events as they progress.

Definitely Not the Scoop in Chicago

2008-02-19T20:31:00.000-08:00

By Alex Kim

These last five months spent in Columbia have certainly made me feel somewhat distanced from my Chicago teams. I’ve had to follow them far—watching every 5th Cubs game during their playoff push, watching the Bulls struggle through GameCast, and reading the game summaries of the Blackhawks’ stellar adolescents Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews. So thank god Scoop Jackson wrote "Sad State of Chicago Sports" to keep me informed!

Wow, I’ve missed a lot. Because I could have sworn that this proud city is in great shape. Yes, the Bulls are in the middle of a disappointing season, the Bears couldn’t even crack .500, the Sox couldn’t hit a grapefruit, the Cubs scored three runs in the NLDS, and the Blackhawks are 14th in the Western Conference, but as a sports journalist, Jackson’s job is too, you know, maybe analyze things a little bit.

I understand why the Gasol trade has upset so many Chicagoans, but there was honestly no way the Bulls were going to get him. The package that offered Andres Nocioni, Thabo Sefolosha, and Tryus Thomas showed the Grizzlies that they would not be getting fair compensation, that is to say, any key members on the Bulls roster (Deng, Hinrich, Gordon). Now, while Kwame Brown is certainly not comparable to Gasol, I’m guessing the Grizzlies are using this as a way to develop Hakim Warrick by making him the centerpiece of their offense. Although I’m not sure what signing Jason Collins is saying to Kwame, besides “You don’t play well”. Either way, the Bulls essentially gave up any chance of getting Gasol when John Paxon signed Ben Wallace to his absurd 60 million dollar contract. Paxon also dealt Tyson Chandler, which had he held on to for one more year, could have been used as bait for KG. Essentially Paxon needs to get his shit together. He wasted a draft pick on Joakim, and botched the Kobe trade when he didn’t even seem sure he wanted the deal to go down. He was hesitant to include any of the Bulls stars, to which the Lakers replied with a cold shoulder.
As for their disappointing season, the Bulls continue to live and die with their shooting. Right now they are dying. Hinrich has lost his confidence until Deng went out, Ben Gordon continues to throw up brick after brick, some which could have hit Stefon Hannah in the face all the way down in Columbia. Paxon failed to draft Spencer Hawes who could have at the very least complimented the poor offense of Wallace (whom the bulls are stuck with for another two years) with his shooting ability. The Bulls only hope would be to have Michael Beasley drop all the way down to them in the draft. That being said, the Bulls who put an impressive win against the Warriors on national television and highlighted their depth with Chris Duhon and Tyrus Thomas, moved into within half a game of a playoff spot in the East.

Then there is his short take on the Blackhawks. Judging by what he wrote, Scoop should have known this wasn’t jurisdiction. The paragraph digs into the lack of success and poor management to the franchise that was once rated second worst in all of professional sports. However, the last few years saw the Hawks at least attempt to make a splash, with big name signings of Martin Havlat and cup winner Nikolai Khabibulin. The front office has used draft day to its great advantage the last several years, picking and developing top-four defensemen like Brent Seabrook, Dustin Byfuglien, and Duncan Keith. However, it is the Hawks’ top picks in each of the last two drafts, Jonathan Toews (3rd overall, 2006) and “Sidney Crosby Wanna-be” (This is the place where Scoop threw away his journalistic integrity) Patrick Kane (1st overall, 2007) that have been turned into the saviors of the franchise. Patrick Kane leads all rookies in scoring, and had Toews not gotten hurt, he would still be right behind in second. In the six games I attended over winter break, I saw more Kane and Toews jerseys than one probably could see Hester jerseys at Soldier Field.
Which brings up attendance—the Blackhawks are, for the first time in a decade, selling out games that aren’t against the Detroit Red Wings. They even broke the 21,000 mark (20,500 being general capacity at the UC) against Minnesota on a Friday night.
In the six weeks Toews was hurt, the Hawks played, for lack of a better term, pretty crappy. They fell to 14th in the conference. However, they remain only ten points out of the 8th spot in the west, which is only 9 points behind the third place. Time is definitely running out, but could it have really pained Scoop to at least look at the standings in a less biased manner?
Maybe it was the, well, lets call it “timely” death of owner Bill Wirtz, but the legions of Hawk fans that were displaced during Wirtz’s tyranny are finally being re-introduced to the game—many of whom haven’t watched a game since the lockout canceled and entire season and the league got rid of the two-line pass. Home games are finally being aired on TV (Hawks were the only team in the NHL to blackout their local markets), attendance is up, and there hasn’t been this much excitement over any rookie player, let alone two, since Jeremy Roenick wore the Indian head.

Scoop then decides to go Peter Gammons on his readers, giving his predictions and in-depth analysis on the NL Central, saying the Cubs will be this year's 2007 Bears. Everyone remembers the 2007 Bears—the team with sky-high expectations that failed to win the Super Bowl. Back to reality, championships aren’t always won in a year, a concept that eluded Mr. Scoop. The only reason the Cubs struggled for the division last year was because of their slow start and Milwaukee’s first-half sprint. The Cubs showed the kind of team they could be when everything is clicking from June to mid-July, turning and 8 game deficit into a share of first that would last the end of the season. Their depth kept them in the race, when Soriano went down and rookie C Geovany Soto stepped up big, most likely earning him a favorable starting position that Jason Kendall botched.
The Cubs big acquisition, china man Kosuke Fukudome remains mystique, but the front office needed the signing. Had they failed to do so, Jim Hendry would be under as much fire as Jerry Kraus was after the Bulls were dismantled.
All signs show the Cubs should win the division this year, with the Cards waving goodbye to Edmonds and Eckstein, while the Brewers signed Eric Gagne and the Reds hired the real “prodigal skipper” Dusty Baker. The Astros stocked up during the off-season, especially with pitching, but as long as the Cubs play the way they can, it won’t be a problem. (Hunter Pence and Carlos Lee in the top-half of their order scares me though).

The White Sox won a World Series two years ago, and the Bears went to a Super Bowl and have Devin Hester. That’s all I’m saying about these two teams because I am growing tired and don’t feel like going into much more detail and don’t feel like researching more stats.

Scoops alleged allegiance to his hometown’s teams has truly been tested in this championship drought, one that stretches eons back to the days of Pope John Paul II (No sacrilege. The last several years have seen a White Sox World Series, three straight postseason appearances and a Super Bowl from the Bears, the uprising from an astonishingly young Bulls team (highlighted by a sweep of the defending champions in 2007), the return of the cities most stories franchise in the Chicago Blackhawks, and I have never seen an entire metropolis rally around a team the way Chicago did in 2003 during the Cubs did during their electric NLCS run. The verdict? Sports are just fine in the Windy City—remember Scoop, it’s not all about winning. Maybe they share that attitude in Boston. Maybe that is where you belong.

Will the Real Larry Hughes Please Stand Up?

2008-02-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

Larry Hughes. Once a promising young player who averaged 22.7 points per game in 1999-2000 for his Golden State Warriors. Larry Hughes. Who once averaged 22 points per game in 2004-2005 for his Washington Wizards. Larry Hughes. Who once shot 46% percent from the field. These were the qualities that the Cleveland Cavaliers saw in Larry after the 2004-2005 season. After being spurned by Michael Redd and Ray Allen, the Cavs turned to Larry. Not only was he just coming off winning Defensive Player of the Year award, Larry also averaged 22 points playing alongside Gilbert Arenas, who may possibly have the ball in his hands more than LeBron James does. Gilbert averaged 25 points that year. All of these qualities led the Cavs to overpay Larry, as most free agents of the time were. Cleveland was ecstatic. A good defensive player who did not need the ball and could feed off of LeBron James. But his stay in Cleveland has been awfully disappointing. His season was cut short his first year in C-town because of injuries. Then his free throw attempts dropped by one hundred since his last season in Washington. His field goal percentage has never been over 40% here. He has become a career 30% three point shooter. Everyone says he does not fit in Cleveland because he is not a shooter, and LeBron creates open shots for people. But this is where I disagree with people.
Larry Hughes has stopped being the player that earned him that big contract in Cleveland. He is a very streaky shooter. But he has games like last night where he scores 40 points and you watch him drive to the basket with no mercy. You wonder where that has been all season. It comes in random spurts, but never for more than 2 games in a row. Just because he is playing alongside a superstar that needs the ball in his hands does not mean that he needs to change his game, which he has. He drove to the hole in Washington, so why not here? He has become a jump shooter. He will shoot a 3 with 23 seconds left on the shot clock. Then he will slash to the hole and drop in a beautiful layup. It leaves us Clevelanders with a severe case of blue balls. If Larry could average 20 here in Cleveland like he did in Washington this team would be in the finals every year. He has the potential to do it. He has great handles and could go to the hole whenever he wants. But he has settled for the long jumper, for reasons I do not understand. Tonight, Larry scored 40 and LeBron dropped 29. That is 69 points between our two stars, and look at the outcome, a win. So Larry Hughes, stop having random great games where you score 30 or more. String them together. We got to the finals without you doing that, just think what we could do with you scoring. Will the real Larry Hughes please stand up?